Sue Me

Americans and lawsuits. It’s getting quite out of hand, don’t you think? People are suing people for every little thing imaginable. When I was having trouble with my apartment (the landlord took forever in fixing the leaky roof and I was exposed to toxic mold), everyone I talked to asked me why I wasn’t suing the guy. Umm, I don’t know, because I don’t want to? Since when is filing a lawsuit the first thing that comes to mind when you have a problem?

I’m realizing the severity of this problem every time I go to my business law class. I just read an article of a case where a four year old was sued for negligence. She had run down an elderly woman with her bicycle. A four year old! What a fucking joke. Kids will be kids.

Another case that blew me away was Martin Kessman v. White Castle. Kessman is a 64 year old who’s 6ft tall and 290 lbs. He sued White Castle because he couldn’t comfortably fit into a booth. He banged his knee against the table’s metal supports. He left the restaurant “embarrassed and in pain,” and wrote to the headquarters voicing his concern. They sent him coupons for free burgers and didn’t make any changes to the booths. Kessman then proceeded to sue the company. He was obviously just trying to win money from this. If he’s 290 lbs he probably shouldn’t be in a fucking White Castle in the first place. The funny thing is, the fat fuck probably used those coupons anyway. He says that he had his wife pick up the food for him.

This case reminds me of another lawsuit where a fat lady who sued Dunkin Donuts for her fatness. Are you fucking serious? News flash – donuts are fattening. You choose to eat them at your own discretion. What a bunch of obese idiots. Honestly. Another lawsuit of a mother suing Dunkin Donuts because their hash browns burned the mouth of her 15-month-old son. News flash – hash browns are hot. They are deep fried in boiling oil. And why the FUCK were you feeding your 15-month-old child hash browns anyway? That is just bad parenting right there. She was just trying to win the $200,000.

How the hell has it come this far, America? I have half a mind to sue you for negligence. Frivolous lawsuit after frivolous lawsuit, people are suing other people and companies for thousands and millions. And every once in a while they win the thousands or millions, and the rest of America thinks, “hey, that could happen to me too!” This dude tried to sue NBC for $2.5 million because the show Fear Factor made him vomit. 2.5 fucking million dollars for making him queasy! Blatant. Greed. People are looking for ways to get rich quick at others’ expense. They don’t give a shit who they’re hurting, as long as they get the $$$.

Another ridiculous lawsuit – Edward Brewer, a convicted rapist, sued the hospital where he committed the rape. He charged the hospital for negligence because it had failed to provide enough security to protect its patients. So, he was basically blaming the hospital for his raping of a poor woman with cerebral palsy. He’s serving 10 years in prison. He should be in there for the rest of his life. Fucking infuriating.

Am I the only one who’s revolted by this issue? It literally makes me sick to my stomach. Maybe I can sue for this and make some dough. Han v. The United States of America for $10 million. No, $100 million!

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