Sue Me

Americans and lawsuits. It’s getting quite out of hand, don’t you think? People are suing people for every little thing imaginable. When I was having trouble with my apartment (the landlord took forever in fixing the leaky roof and I was exposed to toxic mold), everyone I talked to asked me why I wasn’t suing the guy. Umm, I don’t know, because I don’t want to? Since when is filing a lawsuit the first thing that comes to mind when you have a problem?

I’m realizing the severity of this problem every time I go to my business law class. I just read an article of a case where a four year old was sued for negligence. She had run down an elderly woman with her bicycle. A four year old! What a fucking joke. Kids will be kids.

Another case that blew me away was Martin Kessman v. White Castle. Kessman is a 64 year old who’s 6ft tall and 290 lbs. He sued White Castle because he couldn’t comfortably fit into a booth. He banged his knee against the table’s metal supports. He left the restaurant “embarrassed and in pain,” and wrote to the headquarters voicing his concern. They sent him coupons for free burgers and didn’t make any changes to the booths. Kessman then proceeded to sue the company. He was obviously just trying to win money from this. If he’s 290 lbs he probably shouldn’t be in a fucking White Castle in the first place. The funny thing is, the fat fuck probably used those coupons anyway. He says that he had his wife pick up the food for him.

This case reminds me of another lawsuit where a fat lady who sued Dunkin Donuts for her fatness. Are you fucking serious? News flash – donuts are fattening. You choose to eat them at your own discretion. What a bunch of obese idiots. Honestly. Another lawsuit of a mother suing Dunkin Donuts because their hash browns burned the mouth of her 15-month-old son. News flash – hash browns are hot. They are deep fried in boiling oil. And why the FUCK were you feeding your 15-month-old child hash browns anyway? That is just bad parenting right there. She was just trying to win the $200,000.

How the hell has it come this far, America? I have half a mind to sue you for negligence. Frivolous lawsuit after frivolous lawsuit, people are suing other people and companies for thousands and millions. And every once in a while they win the thousands or millions, and the rest of America thinks, “hey, that could happen to me too!” This dude tried to sue NBC for $2.5 million because the show Fear Factor made him vomit. 2.5 fucking million dollars for making him queasy! Blatant. Greed. People are looking for ways to get rich quick at others’ expense. They don’t give a shit who they’re hurting, as long as they get the $$$.

Another ridiculous lawsuit – Edward Brewer, a convicted rapist, sued the hospital where he committed the rape. He charged the hospital for negligence because it had failed to provide enough security to protect its patients. So, he was basically blaming the hospital for his raping of a poor woman with cerebral palsy. He’s serving 10 years in prison. He should be in there for the rest of his life. Fucking infuriating.

Am I the only one who’s revolted by this issue? It literally makes me sick to my stomach. Maybe I can sue for this and make some dough. Han v. The United States of America for $10 million. No, $100 million!

My Husband Called Me Fat

I was waiting in line by the counter at CVS to pay. A gossip magazine was yelling out at me. Kim Kardasian’s HUSBAND FROM HELL. From hearing FIT girls talk about stupid celebrity gossip, I knew that Kim just got married a few months ago. Had a huge Hollywood wedding and everything. I have no idea how many times she’s been married, but I’m guessing it’s more than once. Underneath the huge headline, it said, “he hit on other women and called Kim FAT.” Oh my GOD. IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD. Well, end of the marriage, anyway. There are plenty of wives who are physically abused and treated like absolute shit all over the country, but when Kim is called fat by her playboy husband, it makes it to the cover of every gossip magazine. It blows my fucking mind.

I swear Hollywood has ruined the sanctity of marriage in the States. Okay, I’m not being fair. There are plenty of other factors that have led to this. But Hollywood plays a big part of it. These rich beautiful people that the public “aspires” to be…  change spouses whenever they get bored. Like husbands and wives are furniture… or wallpaper. Why keep your old lackluster room when you can afford to redecorate? Why stick with a color you no longer like when you can just paint over it with a fresh new one? Why can’t you Hollywood snobs just not get married and date around like normal people?

More and more people are getting married on a whim. And getting divorced when things start to turn sour. Coming from Asia, this is hard to understand for me. If you’re not 100% sure you want to marry someone and stay committed, why the hell are you doing it? You shouldn’t do it unless you’re willing to give it your absolute best to make it work. My parents have been married for over 20 years. They’ve had problems. And I mean MAJOR problems. Some of which a lot of American couples would’ve broken up over. They feel obligated to stay married and work out their issues because marriage is not something that should be taken lightly. It is a binding contract. If you’re religious (my parents are), this is also a contract with “God.”

Another reason why I started thinking about this subject was because a few of kids my age that I know from high school are getting married (or are already married). Mind you, I’m only 19 years old. I don’t want to sound like a complete cynic, but HA. GOOD LUCK. We’ll see how happily in love you are a few years down the road. I’m not saying that I don’t believe in young love. Because I absolutely do. Be infatuated! Be in love! Enjoy your youth! Just don’t get fucking married before you’re even allowed to drink!!!

When I think of divorces, I think of bloodsucking lawyers, alimony and custody battles. Then I got to thinking about the whole society’s norm bullshit. You meet “the one,” you marry “the one,” you have children with “the one.” What if you do indeed meet “the one,” but don’t want to get married? What if you fall in love “the one,” and want to have children out of wedlock? What if you don’t meet “the one” at all, and just want to have some fucking kids? Yada yada yada. The list goes on. These lines are becoming more blurred, but they’re still there. If my future husband ever calls me FAT, I’m going to file for divorce. Ha, I’m just kidding. I don’t want to get married. Ever.