Do I Look Like a Communist to You?

It always takes a few minutes to explain my origins to someone I’ve just met. I’m usually bombarded with questions: Wait, so you’re not from the States? I thought you were from Cali… or Flushing or something. Are you Korean or Chinese? How on earth do you speak English so well? You don’t even have an accent! Believe it or not folks, you can actually learn proper Engrish in Asia (ORLY?). My background is confusing though, even for me. When people ask me where my hometown is, I’m usually thrown off by the question. It’s an easy enough question, isn’t it – where you’re from. Anyang? Seoul? Shanghai? It’s one of those.

I’ve been fortunate enough to travel around a lot – I’ve got more than a handful of countries visited under my belt. And I’ve never been asked this particular question before coming to the States (that’s 17 years of my life): Are you South Korean or North Korean? The first few times, I let it slide. I’m in America now. Most Americans don’t know shit about other countries. I calmly replied, South. However, the more and more I got that question, the more annoyed I got. If I was North Korean, what the hell would I be doing in New York City? Honestly, people. Do you not know anything about the heinous conditions in North Korea? Do I look like a refugee to you? I don’t actually voice these thoughts, obviously. They’re just running through my head before I answer the question. Sometimes I like to fuck with people (especially those who I’m 99% sure I’ll never see again) and say that I am indeed from North Korea. I escaped the grips of poverty and communism through the barren lands of northern China… on FOOT… and instead of heading to South Korea where I’d be granted asylum, I decided out of the blue to make my journey across the world to become one of the (roughly) one hundred North Korean defectors living in the United States. I’ve come to the most expensive city in the country, at that. Just chasing the American dream, you see. You understand, don’t you?

No. No, you don’t. Just… No. How the hell would I have done that? How would that even work? I had to file a ton of paperwork and attend a nerve wrecking interview just to obtain my student visa for FIT, and I speak perfect English (there are plenty of South Koreans who are deemed “not good enough” for entry into the States, I know this because I sat in the US embassy for over 3 hours waiting for my turn and watching people get rejected). It’s actually not that easy to enter the States illegally (despite what the media has you believe). Not all illegal aliens are able to jump the fence. In this case, the fence would be the Pacific Ocean. Moving from a fucked up socialist country to what is perceived to be a “normal” capitalist one should be enough culture shock for a North Korean refugee’s lifetime – I’m pretty sure moving to what is perceived to be one of the “most capitalist” and egomaniacal cities in the world would be a tad bit overwhelming for this hapless escapee.

Alright, that’s enough ranting. Just don’t ever ask me if I’m North Korean, okay?

Pretty please?

North Korean PropagandaNorth Korean Propaganda



There’s a Pill For That

There’s a pill for everything. Literally, everything. You have a headache? Take a pill. You can’t sleep? Take a pill. You feel anxious? Take a pill. You can’t sit still? Take a pill. You can’t get an erection? Take a pill. You feel depressed? Take a pill. You want to lose weight? Take a pill. Why can’t the majority of Americans stop and think, what could I do to remedy this WITHOUT taking something? Because the American society has led them to believe that their bodies cannot heal themselves.

The biggest issue I have with this is the widespread ignorance in the States when it comes to different types of medicine. Conventional medicine is not the only kind of medicine. Alternative medicine (a broad category of treatments that don’t fall under the conventional category) is widely used all over the world, and can be just as effective as modern medicine.

Sure, you should certainly go through surgical procedures and take modern medicine if you have a serious health problem (i.e. appendix rupture), because that’s the most effective way of dealing with such an issue. However, if you just have trouble sleeping, popping pills is not the smartest way to deal with the matter (especially since most sleeping pills are addictive).

When I lived in China, I went to this doctor every once in a while. I would come in and sit down. He would feel my pulse and look at my tongue. Before I say anything, he would already have a sense of what was wrong. I would tell him everything that’s been bothering me, and he would ask me several questions (about appetite, sleep pattern, bowel movement, etc). As he does this, he would write down a long list of herbs and other natural ingredients onto his pad.Then I would return the next day to get herbal medicine that’s been boiled for hours – in the form of drinkable “tea” (for lack of a better term; I’m not going to lie, it is the most unpalatable tea you’ll ever taste).

Yeah, it smells and tastes like shit, but it works. I believe it does, anyway. Believe what you want. I’d take the medicine twice a day for two weeks, and return for another batch. It helped me gain appetite. It helped me sleep better. It helped my poor circulation (cold hands & feet). It helped me digest better. I wish I could go back to that doctor today. These herbs helps your body do its job better. They let your body do its thing, without messing with the natural balance of things. It’s all about the balance.

The biggest difference between natural and conventional medicine is the approach to symptoms. For example, let’s say you have an ear infection. You go to a conventional doctor. He would look at your symptoms, and diagnose that you have an ear infection. He would prescribe you meds to get rid of your symptoms.  However, months later, you get another ear infection. You go through the same procedure, and may become stuck in the cycle for over a long period of time.

You turn to alternative medicine. The practitioner would see your symptoms and see that you have an ear infection. He then would talk with you about your lifestyle and whatnot to figure out WHY you have this ear infection. As in, he would try to figure out what is causing the offset of balance in your body. Do you see the difference? He would try to figure out the real source of your symptoms. Once you find that, and help your body regain its natural balance, you won’t get another ear infection again.

My point is, open up your mind a little. Alternative medicine is not a bunch of hokey pokey. The next time you have a headache, try not to immediately grab the Advil bottle. Not all effective medicine are created in laboratories. Google alternative medicine. Become more aware. Spread the word.


I’ve been drinking freely since I was 15. Freely as in walking into a convenience store and buying beer (or a handle of whiskey). Freely as in going to a supermarket and loading up a shopping cart full of liquor for a house party. Freely as in walking into a club and getting shitfaced off open bar all night, any night. All without being carded, of course. I’ve never been ID’d in Shanghai, ever.

I lost this freedom when I came to college in America. 21, my ass. It just HAD to be my generation. Why 21? Because that’s when your brain is done developing, yes, sure, whatever. But… Why? What does that have to do with alcohol consumption?

In my opinion, the sooner a kid is allowed to drink, the better. Sure, kids will go through the reckless stages and do stupid shit, but they all need to go through it to become mature human beings. This is why so many American college kids are immature fucks. They go through the irresponsible stage that we went through and got over years ago. If the country weren’t so strict about drinking, there wouldn’t be nearly as many frat boys running around yelling “WHOOOOO BEER! YEUH!!!” and being complete retards. If they were introduced to alcohol earlier, then drinking wouldn’t be “cool.” It would just be the norm. They wouldn’t go running around trying to prove themselves to the world.

When I was a kid, my parents tried to get me to drink. They would offer me wine and beer all the time. Sometimes I’d have a sip or two, but I just didn’t like the taste of alcohol. Since it was put in my face all the time and wasn’t a “no-no” thing, I learned that drinking wasn’t a big deal.

Growing up in Shanghai, all we international kids were introduced to the “party scene” very early. It was a hell of an environment for teenagers to grow up in. We thrived and prospered. I started going to clubs when I was a sophomore in high school (which is actually pretty late by Shanghai standards). I went out every weekend and got smashed beyond belief. Those were the senseless days. However, by the time I was a junior, I was a responsible drinker.

Now I’m in college. I despise the clubbing scene. It’s too much for me. I am so “over it.” It’s just too loud, crowded and sleazy for me to actually enjoy myself. I much prefer going to bars. I don’t own a fake ID ($200 for a piece of plastic that might not even work? No thanks). I just have my ways of drinking. Freshman year was tough for me. It took me a while to figure out how to get around.

I hate being treated like a kid who is incapable of making my own decisions. You’re allowed to drive a damn car by the time you’re 16, you can buy cigarettes when you’re 18, but you have to wait 3-5 years to have a drink. If you marry young, you can’t even legally drink at your own wedding. What a fucking joke. The drinking law doesn’t mean jack shit anyway. The more they enforce it, the more kids will try to get around it. Just give them the freedom to make their own decisions and their own mistakes. They should learn earlier than later. No more YEAH BEER dudes. No more bullshit. Well, less, anyway.

Sue Me

Americans and lawsuits. It’s getting quite out of hand, don’t you think? People are suing people for every little thing imaginable. When I was having trouble with my apartment (the landlord took forever in fixing the leaky roof and I was exposed to toxic mold), everyone I talked to asked me why I wasn’t suing the guy. Umm, I don’t know, because I don’t want to? Since when is filing a lawsuit the first thing that comes to mind when you have a problem?

I’m realizing the severity of this problem every time I go to my business law class. I just read an article of a case where a four year old was sued for negligence. She had run down an elderly woman with her bicycle. A four year old! What a fucking joke. Kids will be kids.

Another case that blew me away was Martin Kessman v. White Castle. Kessman is a 64 year old who’s 6ft tall and 290 lbs. He sued White Castle because he couldn’t comfortably fit into a booth. He banged his knee against the table’s metal supports. He left the restaurant “embarrassed and in pain,” and wrote to the headquarters voicing his concern. They sent him coupons for free burgers and didn’t make any changes to the booths. Kessman then proceeded to sue the company. He was obviously just trying to win money from this. If he’s 290 lbs he probably shouldn’t be in a fucking White Castle in the first place. The funny thing is, the fat fuck probably used those coupons anyway. He says that he had his wife pick up the food for him.

This case reminds me of another lawsuit where a fat lady who sued Dunkin Donuts for her fatness. Are you fucking serious? News flash – donuts are fattening. You choose to eat them at your own discretion. What a bunch of obese idiots. Honestly. Another lawsuit of a mother suing Dunkin Donuts because their hash browns burned the mouth of her 15-month-old son. News flash – hash browns are hot. They are deep fried in boiling oil. And why the FUCK were you feeding your 15-month-old child hash browns anyway? That is just bad parenting right there. She was just trying to win the $200,000.

How the hell has it come this far, America? I have half a mind to sue you for negligence. Frivolous lawsuit after frivolous lawsuit, people are suing other people and companies for thousands and millions. And every once in a while they win the thousands or millions, and the rest of America thinks, “hey, that could happen to me too!” This dude tried to sue NBC for $2.5 million because the show Fear Factor made him vomit. 2.5 fucking million dollars for making him queasy! Blatant. Greed. People are looking for ways to get rich quick at others’ expense. They don’t give a shit who they’re hurting, as long as they get the $$$.

Another ridiculous lawsuit – Edward Brewer, a convicted rapist, sued the hospital where he committed the rape. He charged the hospital for negligence because it had failed to provide enough security to protect its patients. So, he was basically blaming the hospital for his raping of a poor woman with cerebral palsy. He’s serving 10 years in prison. He should be in there for the rest of his life. Fucking infuriating.

Am I the only one who’s revolted by this issue? It literally makes me sick to my stomach. Maybe I can sue for this and make some dough. Han v. The United States of America for $10 million. No, $100 million!


Architects & Engineers for 911 Truth.

These are professionals who provide sufficient scientific facts and forensic evidence to conclude that three World Trade Center buildings #1 (North Tower), #2 (South Tower), and #7 (the 47-story high-rise across Vesey St) were destroyed not by jet impact and office fires but by controlled demolition with explosives. [This specific video addresses the mystery behind the collapse of WTC7]

NOTE that they are not extremist nuts who try to push a conspiracy theory (like “the government did it”). They are calling upon Congress and the public for a truly independent investigation with subpoena power.

I’m not putting this up to cause controversy. I’m not going to lie, these videos really blew my mind. I’m still not going to comment too much on this issue. However, I am going to say this – the level of racism and hatred against Muslims in this country is appalling. Terrorist this, terrorist that. I blame ignorance.

This segment from a bollywood movie, Kurbaan (2009), shows an atypical point of view that redefines terrorism:


I repeat, I am not a conspirator. I just like to look at things from all points of view. At this point, I’m not even sure what I believe in. I just think that people should really see both sides of an argument before choosing a side and dismissing the other (or worse, attacking the other). That is all.


I’m sick and tired of mind numbing commercials on American television. Especially late night cable programming. I’m a night owl. I leave the TV running in the wee hours of mornings. Sometimes I catch myself staring at the screen with my eyes half shut and my mouth gaping open. If I was overweight with a bag of chips in my hand, I’d look like a typical couch potato who has no life whatsoever.

In Korea, commercial breaks during a program on the public broadcasting channel is prohibited. That’s right. Advertisers can only insert ads before and after shows. On cable, a reasonable amount of commercials are allowed to be played in the middle of the program. The length and the number of ads depend on the length of the program, and are limited by strict regulations. If these rules were changed, there would be an uproar. A RIOT! Can you imagine? No “we’ll be right back,” no “we’re going to have a short commercial break,” yada yada yada.

One thing that bothers me the MOST is how they play the SAME goddamn ads on every goddamn commercial break during a program. I realize that this is to make sure that the ad is seen by people who’re just tuning in, but what about the rest of us who were actually watching from the beginning? I also realize that it’s to really drill the ad into our minds. But is this really how you want to approach your audience? By annoying us to death so that we’d remember your stupid commercial?

A particular ad comes to mind… The Great Neck Nissan commercial. It’s of this guy who literally YELLS AT YOU saying FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS CASH!!!!!! over and over and over again. Have you seen it? Click on the link and watch it. It’s ridiculous. Just thinking about the late nights hearing that dude yell at me on every commercial break gives me a headache. It blows my mind how IN YOUR FACE it is. Is it really necessary? Another ad that comes to mind is the 5 Hour Energy commercial. The ad isn’t TOO terrible, but I just hate that douchey guy in the end. “That was fast and easy,” he says, as he sits down and reads the newspaper like a douchey douchebag. I can’t really pinpoint why I hate him so much. I just do.

Oh and you gotta love the lawyer commercials like this one. The speaker is always staring you down. Literally. They don’t even blink. I’m guessing it’s some kind of strategy to make them seem more convincing? OH and how could I forget the countless drug commercials! Oh my fucking god, the drug commercials. They drive me insane. You know, how they show completely irrelevant visuals of people running around laughing on the beach during sunset while they list all the horrible side effects of the drug (as quickly as possible). The side effects list of the drug is always longer its benefits list. That’s why they have to say it fast. I’m sure most people don’t even hear them, they’re probably mesmerized by the beautiful images on screen… like this Cymbalta commercial (used to treat depression). I love the part where the voice over says “including increased thoughts of suicide,” and it shows a dog licking the lady’s face. Suicide… HOW CUTE. And you gotta love the commercial that comes after it, you know, one of those “If you’ve taken ____ and suffered massive internal bleeding you may be titled to compensation” ads. Ha-fucking-ha.

Anyway, my point is, American commercials are getting dumber and dumber. More obvious. More in your face. More CASH NOW and THIS NOW and THAT NOW. CALL NOW! WHY AREN’T YOU CALLING? CALL RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!! Enough already. Bloody hell. The ironic thing is, I want to go into advertising. I won’t be working on low budget bullshit though (I hope). When I was creating ads for Direct Marketing class, the professor kept telling me “you’re not showing the offer early enough,” over and over again.  My efforts of giving the ad some artistic substance and story were ignored. You gotta present the deal up front. You gotta display the call number up front. You gotta yell CALL NOW up front. That’s just how it is. Have you ever seen the movie “Idiocracy“? If not, look it up. It’s where we’re headed.

The Reality Obsession

When you think about America, it’s hard not to conjure up an image of Jersey Shore. Or some other kind of reality TV nonsense. This past summer, Jersey Shore’s season premiere drew 8.8 million total viewers. 8.8 MILLION! This was the MTV’s most-watched opener to date. The show is disgraceful and mind numbing. The participants act their parts as white trash. They are giving the country a bad rap.

However, I’m not going to go on about how dumb this show is and how dumb it makes America look (especially since it’s so outrageously popular). You should know that by now. At least I hope you do. What I really want to get to the bottom of is: why the hell are we so drawn to this type of entertainment? As much as I like to hate on reality TV, I can’t help but be sucked into the “real lives” of these characters on screen.

My dorm roommate used to be obsessed with MTV. She owned the TV. Her TV, her channel. When she had it playing, I tried to drown it out as much as possible, but sometimes I just couldn’t resist. I judged these morons and openly shared my views about them, yet I couldn’t look away. Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, 16 and Pregnant, I Used To Be Fat, Extreme Cribs, The Real World… The whole lot.

It all started with The Real World. They put an array of different individuals with diverse backgrounds under one roof and filmed their daily interactions. Kind of like a social experiment. The funny thing is, these individuals were instantly categorized under stereotypes in the viewers’ minds. The funnier thing is, these characters actually acted like those stereotypes. They showed us what we wanted to see. The “real world” really wasn’t that real at all. The reality of it all disintegrated as soon as those cameras were placed.

This brings me back to why we are so drawn to reality TV characters. They show us what we want to see. In Jersey Shore, for example, we expect to see outrageous, tasteless interactions. I shudder at the memory of their actions in Italy (“Jersey Shore smushes Italy.” Real classy stuff). They really showed a good image of America to Europeans, who, in turn, booed and laughed at them, as normal people should. There was a scene where Snookie and what’s her face (dressed in tiny highlighter colored dresses and furry boots) were dancing on tabletops of a restaurant at 10 in the morning, and proceeded to fall asleep with their faces in their breakfast until they were asked to leave. What a fucking embarrassment! What kind of “real people” act like that? That’s because they are not actually REAL people.

However, they still give me what I want to see. Dumb hos making a fool out of themselves in public and on mass television. They think they’re the shit, which makes my viewing even more pleasurable (in a twisted sense). What would Jersey Shore be without skanky hos? Just a bunch of orange douchebags with horrible hairdos who act like a bunch of high schoolers even though they’re actually 30. Keep pumpin those fists while you can, boys… Your fame won’t last long. A few years down the road, these “TV stars” will have nothing to show for their “achievements” other than memories of the good times and skin cancer.

Goodbye, Bank of America

I finally left Bank of America today, after months of saying I would. I just liked my Hello Kitty card (it accentuated my asianness). The fact that there was a photo on my card was convenient, too. But no more. Large corporate banks like Bank of America are fucking evil. All the times I was ripped off and taken advantage of makes my blood boil. Every time I receive a wire transfer from my parents in Asia, BOA takes $20. Every time I touch my savings account more than the limited amount, BOA takes $20 (which I didn’t realize till the second time around). Every time I dip lower than my balance, BOA takes $35.

I’ve never voluntarily gone below my balance. The only time this happened, it really wasn’t my fault. I used my debit card to purchase a plane ticket that cost $1800 from Alitalia (don’t EVER buy a ticket from this airline, trust me on this one). Alitalia charged me TWICE. That’s $3600 I didn’t have. Imagine my surprise when I checked my account balance and it said something like -$1600 in red. Obviously, BOA charged me the $35 for overdraft fees. I called Alitalia, enraged. They gave me the usual apologetic bullshit and refunded me the money. Then I called BOA to undo the overdraft fee. Their response? Not our problem. Get the $35 from Alitalia. I call Alitalia again. Can you guess their response? NOT OUR PROBLEM. Sort it out with your bank. Are you fucking kidding me? And this is after holding on the phone for a long time (which I’ve already expressed that I absolutely despise doing). I was very, very, very angry.

The main reason why I cancelled my account at BOA was because I thought my bag was stolen. Since there was an unused check in my wallet, the dude on the customer service line told me it’d be best to put a complete hold on the account for the time being. At the state of panic, I agreed. After I got my bag back, I went into BOA to get rid of the hold. What pissed me off the most was that the people at BOA couldn’t do a single thing to help me. They said I needed to call customer service. WHY, WHY, WHY FUCKING WHY? Why does this have to be done over the phone? I called at the bank, and they said they couldn’t release the hold because of the checks. It was some kind of “special” hold. They told me that I needed to cancel my account altogether and set up a new one. While I was waiting for the lady to set up a new account, I was deep in thought. Maybe this is a sign, I thought. Besides, they weren’t doing the Hello Kitty cards anymore. That really upset me. I really loved that card.

Since they weren’t going to give me a new Hello Kitty card and I hate the shit out of BOA, I decided that it was time to cut the cord. I told the lady I changed my mind; I want to cancel my account and get all my funds in cash. Walking out of BOA with a thick envelope of cash, I felt free. No more bullshit. I’m in the process of researching for a less evil bank. I’m thinking a small to mid size one. I’m not sure exactly. The important point is, I’M FREE!

The Real Story Behind Thanksgiving ?

Thanksgiving is coming up. I never really understood this holiday. I’ve heard various renditions of the origins of it. The first one I heard was the “Settlers sat with the Native Americans to celebrate a bountiful harvest,” then I heard “Native Americans saved the settlers with their farming knowledge.” I also heard “Native Americans had nothing to do with it, they had slaughtered them all,” and “It was a day where everyone came together to thank god for his graciousness (HA).” So, I researched it.

The story that is told to kids:

“Let us have a great Thanksgiving party, and invite the friendly Indians, and all rejoice together,” said the Pilgrim mothers. So they had the first Thanksgiving party, and a grand one it was! Four men went out shooting one whole day, and brought back so many wild ducks and geese and great wild turkeys that there was enough for almost a week. There was deer meat also, of course, for there were plenty of fine deer in the forest. Then the Pilgrim mothers made the corn and wheat into bread and cakes, and they had fish and clams from the sea besides. The friendly Indians all came with their chief Massasoit. Every one came that was invited, and more, I dare say, for there were ninety of them altogether. They brought five deer with them that they gave to the Pilgrims; and they must have liked the party very much, for they stayed three days. Kind as the Indians were, you would have been very much frightened if you had seen them (ha).

The “real” story:

The colony was first organized on a communal basis, as their financiers required. Land was owned in common. The Pilgrims farmed communally, too, following the “from each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs” precept. The results were disastrous. Communism didn’t work any better 400 years ago than it does today. By 1623, the colony had suffered serious losses. Starvation was imminent. Bradford realized that the communal system encouraged and rewarded waste and laziness and inefficiency, and destroyed individual initiative. Desperate, he abolished it. He distributed private plots of land among the surviving Pilgrims, encouraging them to plant early and farm as individuals, not collectively. The results: a bountiful early harvest that saved the colonies. After the harvest, the Pilgrims celebrated with a day of Thanksgiving. (Note the absence of Native Americans in this version)

Sooo, I choose to believe that Thanksgiving was a day of being grateful for the rise of capitalism. No wonder it’s such a celebrated holiday. Americans and capitalism are inseparable. Despite all the discrepancies in the stories, I like the traditions of Thanksgiving. Getting together with your loved ones (or not so loved ones) and feasting on an obscene amount of food. Since my family is halfway across the world, I get a little sad during the holidays when my American friends ditch me for their families. I miss Korean holidays and our little traditions. I don’t exactly remember when they are or what they are (I am a bad Korean), but I remember what we used to do…and what we used to eat. The whole family would get together and make dumplings, rice cakes and the like. We’d wear colorful traditional Hanbok clothing and bow to our elders for pocket money. Anyways, I have plenty of other “orphan” friends who I spend Thanksgiving with. Last Thanksgiving, we went to TGI Friday’s then got smashed afterwards. This year, we’re planning on going to IKEA (they have a Thanksgiving special) then getting smashed afterwards. All is well.


Phone Companies

I hate phone companies. They are evil. Truly malicious. AT&T has had me in a death grip ever since I “upgraded” from MetroPCS. Looking back now, I miss MetroPieCeofShit. I hate being tied down in a plan and paying $105 a month for shitty service and crappy connection.

I wish I never got a smartphone the first time around. Now I can’t ever go back to a non-smartphone. Especially now that I’ve sold my soul to both AT&T and Apple (I renewed my 2 year contract to get the iPhone).

Before renewing my contract with AT&T, I did a lot of research. But as an individual with no family members I can expand the contract with, I get screwed by pretty much every company.

You get what you pay for. I learned that from the $50/month no contract deal with MetroPCS. Shittiest customer service I’ve EVER had to deal with. When I broke my Windows phone (what the hell was I thinking, buying a first generation Windows phone? I guess I wasn’t), I went in to get the phone fixed. By the way, MetroPCS had only TWO proper stores where I could ask for a new phone – one was in Harlem, and the other was in downtown Brooklyn. There has to be more official stores now.

Anyway, back then there were only two goddamn official stores. So I had to trek to Brooklyn to file my insurance thingy. First time I went, the dude gave me so much shit because my phone was strangely acting FINE in the store (although it had been majorly fucking up for the past 2 weeks). It was like he was accusing me of lying. I was sweating, trying to prove myself. Why the fuck would I lie about it? The phone doesn’t work and it’s a pain in my ass. After a while, I finally proved to him that it wasn’t working. He reluctantly helped me with the insurance process, and told me to come back in a week.

For the next week, the phone was driving me insane. I couldn’t properly call or text anyone. I waited it out, and went into the store (I even cut class to do so) after a week. After drawing a number and waiting for like half an hour, they told me that they received the new phone, but sent it back by mistake. They told me to come back in another week.

Two weeks with a broken phone that barely worked. It was hell. It was almost as bad as not having a phone at all. Actually, that actually would’ve been better – in that case I wouldn’t have gotten so damn frustrated. Anyway, I went back the next week and got the new phone.

On the ride home, I tried calling my friend. It didn’t work. Nothing worked. It was working in the store?!? I was so enraged I almost threw the piece of shit phone out the window. My friend, who was giving me a ride, drove me straight to AT&T from there, and helped me open an account under his family plan.

Two years passed after that, and it was time for me to get my own individual account. But with which company? AT&T gave me a lot of shit over the years as well, but I’m not going to go into that. My point is, they’re all just a bunch of liars. Not a single phone company is trustworthy.

Have you ever watched a Verizon ad and an AT&T ad right after the other? They both compare their coverage with the other, and the maps directly contrast one another. Red for Verizon, blue for AT&T. Do they not realize that both of them doing that completely cancels out what they say? Sure, I may be a smarter consumer than most of the population in the US, but honestly. Shouldn’t they be penalized for false advertising? One of them is obviously lying. Or they’re just both lying. Neither of them has that good of a coverage.

What pisses me off the most is AT&T makes me out to be a bitch. People say they called me and I didn’t pick up. I check my phone, no missed calls. I had full bars in the library all day? How is that possible? They say that it was ringing before going to voicemail. What the hell, AT&T? How are you failing this hard at this? I pay $105 a month. You are fucking up my social life.

I went to T-Mobile. No iPhone. The price tag says $99, but you have to pay off $499 over a few months. Cheapest plan out of AT&T and Sprint! NOOO. Come on, T-Mobile. The $50 4G dealio they keep advertising all over the place? It’s got its defects.

Sprint… I liked that one ad where it called both T-Mobile and AT&T out with an honest tone. Nice surprise. I’m not saying Sprint is less evil than the other two. I just liked the ad. At AT&T, I was eligible for an upgrade, and I really wanted the iPhone. I’ve avoided it for as long as I could, but when my brand new Android started fucking up after 3 weeks, I really wanted the fucking iPhone.

So, I sold my soul. Oh by the way – I had to make a security deposit of $500. They didn’t tell me this till the last minute (after I made the decision to re-sign with AT&T). I get it back in a year. Every time I pay the phone bill, a little part of me dies 😦